From High Temperatures to High Self-Esteem

What happens when you couple the searing heat of the construction site with the burning self-doubt of imposter syndrome? This episode unravels the dual challenges of physical and mental endurance in the construction industry. Join us as we share firsthand accounts of battling extreme temperatures, emphasizing the critical need for hydration and practical tips to stay cool. Then, we pivot to delve into the often silent struggle of limiting beliefs that plague our minds. We'll discuss overcoming the fear of failure and self-doubt, emphasizing the importance of self-confidence and continuous improvement.

But that's not all—this episode shines a light on the rising presence of women in construction, dismantling outdated gender roles and advocating for a more inclusive, supportive environment. Learn how limiting beliefs can sabotage daily tasks, especially in high-pressure roles like sales and construction, and discover actionable strategies to combat these negative thoughts. We'll provide you with techniques to identify, assess, and replace limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations. Plus, find out how a daily reset routine can help maintain positivity and resilience, ensuring you stay on top of your game both personally and professionally.

Chapters

• 0:03 Overcoming Limiting Beliefs in Construction
• 11:47 Overcoming Daily Work Challenges

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:03

oh, I love that, I love that hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of feed me your construction content.

Speaker 1: 0:09

I'm carolyn mcmahon heck, yeah, I'm joshua mcmahon heck, yeah, it is hot outside crazy hot, stupid like I think I'm melting hot, uh-huh yeah for sure.

Speaker 1: 0:20

I was out in the field for a little bit today and walking around I was like god bless it is is bad and here's what it is right. I was negotiating with a crew and I was like can you use your skid steer to scoop up those cubes of brick and put them in this truck? And the guy's going to come with a truck. And then I was like I want to tell you that, like hey, whatever it's going to cost, no worries, I'll take care of the cost. But you probably don't care about the cost because the only thing you're thinking about doing is you don't want to do any more work because it's too damn hot. So I had no negotiating power.

Speaker 2: 0:54

Well, maybe if you had something cold to drink.

Speaker 1: 0:58

I should have brought my cooler a beer.

Speaker 2: 1:00

Something, yeah, I mean, I just walked to my car and back. Oh something, yeah, I mean I just, you know, walk to my car and back.

Speaker 1: 1:05

Oh my, God it's, it's so brutal and as a runner I have to go at like five, five, 30 in the morning and when I got done with a one hour run from five, 30 to six, 30, I was drenched in sweat. I mean it was so nasty out there this morning.

Speaker 2: 1:22

I can't wait to do it in the morning, I'm excited. Heck yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:28

I don't think I'm that excited.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Yeah, me neither.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Well, look, this week I wanted to talk about something that's really been weighing on my mind and as we try to untap our personal growth, our business growth, what's the one thing that kind of holds you back? I asked somebody this question. I said what's the thing holding you back from greatness? I mean this guy that I was talking to super innovative, comes up with the craziest ideas, and he told me this business plan he's putting together now and I was like what is holding you back? Something's got to be holding you back because you've got the ideas you know how to execute. Why aren't you doing it?

Speaker 1: 2:08

And what I've been chewing on is this thought of limiting beliefs, and we all have them right. A limiting belief is a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in some way Imposter syndrome, fear of failure. They're all going to laugh at you, right? We all have something in our mind, deep in our subconscious, that's keeping us from making that plunge. You said it best when I applied to be the director of purchasing and drafting, and you're like what the hell do you know about any of that? I was like I don't know. I don't know enough about it, but I'm going to go for it, because you're right. I don't know enough about it, but I do know that I'm very confident and I'm going to figure it out. I don't know any better.

Speaker 2: 2:56

Yeah, and if anybody knows us, you know who limits their beliefs. Right, it's me, right? You are like, yeah, I'm going to get what I focus on All of these things. Again, you're the possibilitist, I'm more of the. I'm a pragmatist.

Speaker 1: 3:22

Yeah, well, I've suffered from that too. Remember, because, I mean, a year and a half ago is when I really started journaling every day, and in the last six months it's every day. I don't miss a day and a lot of that was because I thought I wasn't good enough.

Speaker 1: 3:34

I mean, for a long time I was like they're going to figure me out, they're going to figure out that I don't have the stuff, I don't have the it factor, whatever it is, and I'm not going to be successful. I'm going to lose my job. I'm going to have to start over what. I don't have the experience to do this job. I'm not smart enough. That's a big one, right? I mean for me. For years I didn't have an education. Yes, I went to high school, I had some college, but I didn't graduate. So I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for those bigger roles, and those were some things that limited me and my ability to reach my greatness, which I'm always striving for.

Speaker 2: 4:15

Oh, you haven't achieved it yet.

Speaker 1: 4:17

Absolutely not, and that's what I've been thinking about lately as I'm journaling is I'm like I need to set some bigger goals. The goals we've set are too small, they're too easy, so it's not like we're not excited to go get it.

Speaker 2: 4:36

Okay.

Speaker 1: 4:37

Are you ready?

Speaker 2: 4:39

Hold my beer.

Speaker 1: 4:40

So, as we talk about some of these limiting beliefs, I really want to tie this to the construction industry and I think about that in terms of the movement that we're seeing women in construction I think is massive. Why should women not be in construction? Why should more women not be in construction doing the work that we do, Whether it be out in the field, running crews, in the office, running the business, whatever the case may be, why not?

Speaker 2: 5:06

There is no. Why not?

Speaker 1: 5:08

I mean, it's completely doable, it's doable, but something is holding people back.

Speaker 2: 5:14

Well, I mean, does it go back to this kind of like masculine and feminine roles?

Speaker 1: 5:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:19

That's. You know that's some of it. You know women aren't thought to be. You know it's very. It's still for me new to see a woman in the field.

Speaker 1: 5:29

Oh sure.

Speaker 2: 5:30

You know doing what historically men do as far as you know scheduling, running jobs and things. It still is unique and you're not doing anything special.

Speaker 1: 5:39

No.

Speaker 2: 5:41

I mean you need a good mentor, but I'd say that anybody needs a mentor.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Oh, absolutely. I think everybody needs a mentor, man or woman.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Right, so it's. It's great to see, I mean even just like the trade base in general is lacking, whether you're a man or a woman.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Oh my God, yes. So I think one of the biggest things that's holding our people back is that we don't think we're good enough. I really do think that's like the biggest thing that happens in our industry. Or we don't think we're good enough, so then we fake it. I'm going to try and fool everybody to thinking that I know what I'm doing, so then they won't really figure out that I don't know what I'm doing Right. How often does that happen?

Speaker 2: 6:23

You know my mom used to joke about that. I mean, she was amazing, she had an amazing career, but even when she was winding down she's like hey, carolyn, I think someone's going to finally figure me out.

Speaker 1: 6:34

I'm like what.

Speaker 2: 6:35

She's like but I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm like come on, give me a break. You're established, you know what you're doing. But yeah, I've encountered some of those folks and it's so frustrating because I've said before that I will often say I have screwed something up. But that makes me humble, it makes me likable.

Speaker 1: 6:58

Yeah, it makes you real.

Speaker 2: 6:59

It makes me real and you know and I've had some doozies, but I do say it and I try not to fake it you know you're in this conversation, you know you're in this group of people and people talk about things that you don't know and you're like, oh, you know so-and-so, and I'm like, no, I don't Well you're looking at internally for yourself, but what about some of the people in the field?

Speaker 1: 7:22

some of the superintendents didn't look at their documentation, had the wrong thing installed, didn't verify the PO, didn't verify the selection sheets. What's holding them back from realizing those items?

Speaker 2: 7:31

Oh God, I mean, you think it's really simple.

Speaker 1: 7:35

I think a lot of times it's really simple and I think it's this, this idea that we don't want people to know that we don't know it all or that, or heaven forbid we let anyone know that we don't have it all under control. We might be a little bit outside our comfort zone. I don't want anyone to know that.

Speaker 2: 7:52

It's okay to not be okay.

Speaker 1: 7:57

I think it's completely natural to not be okay. I think if you are okay and completely comfortable in your role, then you should be okay with the little bit of money you're making, whatever that number is. So I should take back the little bit. You should be okay with the money you're making because you're comfortable and you're getting exactly what you need and exactly what you want. Then be fine with that. I don't have a problem with that. If you want to do more, you need to be a little uncomfortable. But I think you have to recognize some of these limiting beliefs that the deep stuff that's in your subconscious and this stuff could have started at childhood your parents telling you you're not good enough, you're not good enough to go to college, you're not going to make it. Don't set your goals too high.

Speaker 2: 8:41

It is amazing what sticks with you. I mean, you know, just a casual comment for me. I mean, I think I was in high school and I told my mom years and years ago about this and she was like, really, you held on to this. You know this little bitty nugget of something that I said to you and I was like, well, yeah, because that's what I took from it, I gleaned from it. It's okay, carolyn, as long as you're okay with being average.

Speaker 2: 9:05

Yeah, you know something than that I mean, and it was I mean and it stuck in my crawl ever yeah. You know, I don't think I'm still over it. But yeah, you know, if you just want to be average, sure Go for it.

Speaker 1: 9:19

Did it motivate you to want to do more or did in some level, it hold you back at times because you weren't sure you could do the next step?

Speaker 2: 9:27

I mean, I'm sure, a bit of both. I mean, for me as a parent, I always want my son to do better than me. I don't want him to be limited, you know, by anything. I want him to excel and bust through everything that I did working, and I think my mom wished that for me as well. Now I haven't gotten there yet, you know, there's still time, but she's, she loves my success and, um, you know, she, she's my biggest cheerleader. But certain things that you say as a parent, you know, you, you, you hold on to.

Speaker 1: 10:04

Well, I think that's definitely true. So my parents told me you're not going to make it, you can't go to college, don't set your goals too high, don't, don Don't get out in front of your skis, all that kind of stuff, right. And I believed it. I believed it until I was probably in my late 30s, when I was finally like what do you mean? I don't have to believe that shit, I can go, do whatever I want. I can create my own destiny. And that's what I did. And I love to tell them about my success, not to brag or not to rub it in their face.

Speaker 2: 10:33

Are you sure there wasn't a little bit of that?

Speaker 1: 10:35

Maybe under the surface, but it's not my intention to rub it in their face.

Speaker 2: 10:39

You don't want to make anybody feel bad.

Speaker 1: 10:41

No, to some extent. What I really want to do is I want to share what I've learned with them so they can go and replicate it and do it too. I'm like I can be the teacher now and you can be the student, and that's okay be the teacher now and you can be the student and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 10:54

Or maybe it's just for them to tell you that they're proud of you. Well, you know they'd have to stop or give me a call to do that, so let's lean into that. So we all have limiting beliefs that start early in our life. How do you overcome these limiting beliefs?

Speaker 2: 11:09

I mean for me it was a taste of success.

Speaker 1: 11:14

Oh, okay, sure.

Speaker 2: 11:18

You got something on the hook or you got a sale that was really hard. I mean, it's like just a small triumph to let you know that you're on the right path, or doing it Because we are the building business right. We don't build unless we sell. And selling is hard because you have all these preconceived notions about things and I was talking earlier about this that you're limiting belief you can put on others right.

Speaker 1: 11:43

Well, we do, we do, do that.

Speaker 2: 11:45

Right, and it could be well. You know, I can't afford something. These people sure as shit can't afford it.

Speaker 1: 11:51

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 11:52

Or you know, I do this all the time where, oh, I don't want to live, I wouldn't live there. Well, why would someone else want to live here too? So you, just you, stop believing it, you stop believing the value of it all of these things, so it can really hurt you in a sales role.

Speaker 1: 12:07

I definitely think it hurts you in a sales role. I think it hurts you in construction roles, internal roles. Those ideas, again those ideas that you're not good enough, and those sort of things. They creep in and it gets deeply embedded in your being. It defines who you are. That's what it starts to do, because you will think, okay, I'm not good enough. What you do is you start looking for reasons to validate. Oh yeah, I'm not good enough. See, look what happened. No, you manifested that. That's not proof that you're not good enough. You found. What you're looking for is what happened. Here's the first thing to overcome these limiting beliefs Because listen, I'm being serious it's deep in your subconscious, it's extremely deep, and you've got to extract it. You've got to pull it out and you've got to reinforce it with something else. So start by identify and write it down. That's so clear, right? That was a gimme. You all knew that was going to be the answer.

Speaker 2: 13:07

For you maybe.

Speaker 1: 13:09

I didn't say get your journal out and journal about it. I just said identify it and write it down. If you don't know what it is, ask people, ask your friends, your closest friends, who know you better than everybody. What's the thing that's holding me back? If you could change anything about me, be honest, what would you change? And let's see what their opinions are. Because as you get that out on paper, then you start to acknowledge it. Then you can start to fix it.

Speaker 1: 13:38

After you've done that, after you've identified it, or after your battle, buddy has said here's your limiting belief. You need to assess the accuracy of it. Is it really real? Look at it. Look at it in a way of validating yes, it's real, I'm not good enough, or no, this is all BS. You need to understand where you stand on that spectrum Because, okay, if you're not good enough, what do I need to do to be better? What do I need to do? What do I need to change to be good at this job and be good enough? That's part of your growth, right, all right. The third thing you need positive affirmations. You know this. I start every day in my journal with three affirmations, or one affirmation and three things that I'm really proud of.

Speaker 2: 14:28

I am smart, I am pretty, I am.

Speaker 1: 14:33

Yeah, you can do it to that level. I like to do it more based on things that are related to the job or things that kind of reinforce and kind of replace whatever. I'm feeling Like the imposter syndrome that I had for years. Right, I knew that they're going to figure me out. I'm an imposter, this isn't for me, right, I'm not good enough for this role. So I had to use things to kind of say, yeah, you're good at this role, look at what you do in this role, look at the impact you make in this role, and then I would use specific examples to kind of reinforce that I haven't felt like I was an imposter in a long time and it works.

Speaker 1: 15:15

So having those positive affirmations is a big deal. I will say this is an ongoing battle, and I mean battle because it's extremely difficult to fix something that's buried in the subconscious and in construction. It's really difficult because we get punched in the face a lot. We take a lot of L's in our industry. If you're in sales, you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 15:35

When you're in a slump and you're not hitting those numbers, it feels bad and you start to believe that it's right. Oh, it's the community, oh, it's this. Oh, it's me. Oh, it's price too high. Whatever it is, you start to believe that stuff. Well, here's something that I encourage my team to do Get your journal out, get your notebook out, whatever it is, as you're having those negative thoughts. Write it down. Just get it out of your head and then change it with what you're going to do differently. So get the bad out. And then what am I going to do differently? You're in control of what you have right, but get the negative out. And then the last thing is don't give up. It's a never ending battle. We got to keep on working on it.

Speaker 2: 16:23

For me it's the, it's the reset. I try really hard to have a reset every day.

Speaker 1: 16:28

That's awesome. What time do you do the reset?

Speaker 2: 16:32

As soon as I hit the door.

Speaker 1: 16:34

Like when you get home, like the moment you get home, you hit a reset.

Speaker 2: 16:38

No, it can still carry over to my evening. I'm referring to in the morning when I go to work. That's the reset for me. Yeah, I come in and I try to walk in with a smile. I try to walk in with my shoulders back. You know, if you're all slumped over doom and gloom, I mean, that's how you're going to start your day and that's how you're going to finish. And I really try, you know, especially if I'm pissed off about something and I go home with that.

Speaker 2: 17:06

You know I still unloaded on you and it's and it's out and I feel better about it. But we also talk about are you seeking comfort or solution?

Speaker 1: 17:16

Well, that, that, that's. That's a that's true right.

Speaker 2: 17:19

Yeah, listen, you married. People take that to heart. Yes, that's, that's a game changer, but yeah just hit the door, feeling like it's a new day.

Speaker 1: 17:29

So here was the advice I gave to a superintendent yesterday. There's two days in every day. There's really three, if you really want to break it down, okay, there's a four-hour shift from 8 to 12. That's one day. There's a 12 to 4 shift and then there's a 4 to 8 shift. Right, there's three days in every single day. Your normal work day. You've got three days. You come in 8 to 12. How do you feel?

Speaker 2: 17:56

well, it depends on if I choose violence.

Speaker 1: 17:59

It depends on and that was the other thing I said to them was you choose your attitude. Sure, you're in complete control of your attitude and how you show up. So if you show up, so if you show up with your ass on your shoulders, well you know what you're going to get that day. You're going to get a lot of misery. You're going to be pissed off. People are going to be pissed off at you. You're not going to have a good day.

Speaker 2: 18:17

Well, right, and misery loves company, right. It definitely does. People just want to jump on the sad bandwagon.

Speaker 1: 18:26

That's exactly right. So eight to 12, okay, deal with that day. When's your reset Lunchtime? Get up from your desk and go, walk around and get your reset. Get your head clear, figure out what you're doing, get away from it. So that's why I say there's two days in your work day.

Speaker 2: 18:47

You said there was three days Work day.

Speaker 1: 18:50

Oh, okay 12 to 4,. You've come back. You've got a fresh mind, fresh perspective, because you dumped that other day. So, okay, I had a bad morning. My day in the morning was bad, but I'm going to kick this afternoon's day's ass. I'd love to leave at 4 o'clock why don't you?

Speaker 2: 19:07

those are not the posted hours of my job well, you need to talk to your boss.

Speaker 1: 19:13

I mean, what are you getting done past four o'clock? Let's just be honest with ourselves. I mean, if you're working past four o'clock, you probably didn't do shit most of the day and you're like I gotta hurry and get work done because I haven't done eight hours worth of work, so I'm gonna scramble the last hour and what you do is you dump all of your work on everybody else. So you're like I got my shit done.

Speaker 2: 19:31

Yeah, you just send an email right before you leave and you're like well, I emailed him yesterday for 50.

Speaker 1: 19:38

How often does that crap happen? I want you getting your stuff done in that first shift eight to 12,. Get stuff done. 12 to four is a completely different shift and it's a different focus. And then when you leave the job, your 4 to 8 is about your family. So check out, get away from that crap and then have your family time.

Speaker 2: 19:59

Or the other F your phone.

Speaker 1: 20:01

Your phone.

Speaker 2: 20:02

I know phone doesn't start with an F.

Speaker 1: 20:04

Are you serious?

Speaker 2: 20:05

Yes, I'm serious.

Speaker 1: 20:07

That's why I need Grammarly. That's just a joke. No, I really do need Grammarly, though he does. So let's wrap this up the limiting beliefs. It happens to all of us. I would encourage you to be vulnerable. Share it with your team. Hey, I suffer from imposter syndrome. There are times that I feel like I'm not good enough, and there's going to be times when I'm going to come in and I'm not going to feel like I'm at my best, and I want to be comfortable sharing that with you, and I'd like you to help me kind of get back up on the horse. So be open about it. It's it's a long-term fight. Be honest, write it down. You'll feel a lot better about it and you'll perform at a much higher level. And the last thing is you choose your attitude. If you choose a poor attitude, well, you get what you get.

Speaker 2: 20:54

You get what you get Until next time.

Speaker 1: 20:58

See ya yeah.