The Power of Self-Reflection in Building Careers

What if you could turn your failures into stepping stones for future success? Join us as we explore this transformative concept in the high-pressure world of construction, where reflecting on the past year is not just a necessity but a catalyst for innovation and growth. As we wrap up 2024, we stress the importance of teamwork, self-reflection, and strategic planning, sharing personal insights into how setting boundaries and learning from mistakes can lead to enhanced performance. Uncover the power of embracing both achievements and setbacks, and learn how focusing on what's truly important can help you and your team not just survive but thrive.

As the year comes to a close, discover how to revamp your habits and break through internal barriers that hold you back. We discuss the courage needed to challenge imposter syndrome and the subconscious roadblocks that might hinder your progress. With real-world examples, including a compelling story of a construction entrepreneur transitioning to a managerial role, we illustrate the significance of trust and delegation in achieving personal and business growth. Engage with us in this authentic conversation about self-assessment, and get inspired to face 2025 with renewed vigor and determination.

Chapters

• 0:03 Reflecting on Success and Growth
• 5:59 Revamping Habits for Success
• 11:12 Breaking Through Internal Barriers

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:03

oh, I love that, I love that hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of feed me your construction content.

Speaker 1: 0:09

I'm carolyn mcmahon and I am joshua mcmahon hey babe, how you doing, how you doing I'm good we got what 15 days left of the year. I don't know how many days.

Speaker 2: 0:18

We just did the math I can't remember it, I don't know, but it is going by quickly.

Speaker 1: 0:25

It is and I have enjoyed this year. There have been some ups and downs and you know what. We'll talk about that next week, on kind of our recap of 2024. But what do you think we should talk about this week?

Speaker 2: 0:38

I mean, I imagine you were going to say something like forecasting and looking ahead to 2025.

Speaker 1: 0:46

We're going to say something like forecasting and looking ahead to 2025. Yeah, so what I really want to talk about is, before we can start forecasting for 2025, we got to look back at 2024. I like the month of December. So, listen, if you're in the high pressure production world, you know you're cranking them out. You got to bust out some houses by the end of the year. That's the game. We have played that game. You still play it to some extent.

Speaker 2: 1:09

Well, of course, because we still need to be as strong as we can by the end of the year, and by God, I would hate to be the guy that loses the goal for your company.

Speaker 1: 1:21

It happens every year. It happens, and we've talked about it before. It's not that individual's fault. There's so many things that played up to it, but we as humans will look at that one person, that one house and that is everything.

Speaker 2: 1:35

Oh yeah, I mean, bases were loaded, yeah, right, yeah, oh yeah, it was perfect scenario. And you completely screwed it up and you just blew it.

Speaker 1: 1:45

Yeah, that is exactly the way that we look at it, we're not there.

Speaker 2: 1:48

I mean, as a team, we blew it.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Yeah, and that's the reflection you need to have.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Most of us don't because it's much easier to point the finger at somebody else. I don't know, but you know this. I hate reflecting. I just want to hit it and quit it.

Speaker 1: 2:07

That's my motto.

Speaker 2: 2:10

Hey, don't say how we met and got involved. But I just don't want to do it. I just want to get it over with and look ahead and look you know that's okay.

Speaker 1: 2:25

Okay, I do think that that's okay. I don't think everybody's going to buy into this philosophy. I think some people are visionary based. Some people are goal oriented. Some people are going to look back at how much did we grow this year? How am I going to improve this year into next year? That's me right. That's what I do. I love the month of December. This is the time when you've got a long holiday weekend for Thanksgiving, so you get to really relax and you can reflect. You can start thinking about. What I like to think about during that time is how am I going to crush the month of December?

Speaker 2: 2:58

Oh, to get through. That's what I'm thinking, yeah.

Speaker 1: 3:03

I want to finish strong. So, coming from that production background, you're like I got eight houses. I'm going to close these houses. I'm going to do this and I would take that small break as an opportunity to recharge, refocus and come in there hitting the ground running.

Speaker 2: 3:18

Well, sure, it's about perspective. I mean, if you want to look back and reflect hopefully you're not, you know, so focused on your failures, but where you did have some gains, and you tell me that all the time and I really try to embrace that it's like, hey, this was a failure, but what did you learn Right? How are you going to do it? To do better, and I get that.

Speaker 1: 3:44

And it's hard for a lot of people, a lot of people in construction, I mean myself included. For a long time I would look back and look at how much I didn't accomplish. Oh my God, you're a failure. You missed that. How did you miss that one? How did you screw this up? That's how I looked at things. And then I would beat myself up and then say I want to be better next year. But what was I going to do different? What was I going to do different to be better? I was going to work harder. I was going to work more hours. Well damn, you can only do so much of that before you start to burn out.

Speaker 2: 4:15

Well right, because people were like oh well, just, you know you'll leave when you're finished. I'm like I would never leave, I'd have a cot in my office. I mean, you got to, just you got to cut it off, especially for you. Right, during our relationship, you would get to a point where it didn't matter you were screwing up, you were doing things, and it's like you had to understand your shutoff point.

Speaker 1: 4:36

Yes.

Speaker 2: 4:36

That you've hit your threshold.

Speaker 1: 4:43

You need to stop and then reset for the next day. Well, that's when I was a subcontractor. That's what I learned from that experience was that I did my best work when my head was in the right place and I could be focused and I could do my thing, and when that was disrupted, or when I got to the end of my bandwidth, I had to shut it down, or I would create twice the work that I'd have to fix tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 5:01

And it was frustrating being on the outside of that, because then I was frustrated with you.

Speaker 1: 5:07

That's right.

Speaker 2: 5:15

Right, what do you mean?

Speaker 1: 5:15

You can't just stop and but just, you know, not being able to recognize the signs. Look at that gain, though. You're looking back, you're reflecting on that experience. How much gain is in what you just said? Said so, the person who doesn't like to reflect and always looks at the gap instead of the gain, that's a massive gain. Isn't that a book? It's a great book. But what you just said proves that you're full of crap. You do reflect, you do grow, you do learn from these things. You just your stick is. I don't want to do this stuff.

Speaker 2: 5:44

You know what I just don't want to like word salad it. I don't want to talk about it all the time.

Speaker 1: 5:49

That's okay. You don't have to talk about it all the time, and you damn sure don't have to word salad it. This show is not sponsored by word salad. All right, so let's get into this thing. Okay, we got two weeks left of this year. There's still time. That's the point of this episode. It's going to drop on Thursday. Listen to this. I want you to be motivated to say what were my Q4 goals, what were my Q4 vitals that I wanted to get accomplished.

Speaker 2: 6:16

What do you say? There's a whole lot of game left.

Speaker 1: 6:18

There's a lot of game left, that's right. You're down 50 to nothing, but damn it. There's still time on the clock. That means there's still game to be played.

Speaker 2: 6:25

Are you saying there's a chance?

Speaker 1: 6:26

I'm saying there's a slim chance. What I'm really getting at, though, is, say you fall short of those goals, but you show up differently in these last two weeks of the year. You show up prepared, you show up with a positive mindset. You show up with this hunger, this drive that translates into 2025. Everybody says new year, new me. The gym is packed on January 1st or January 2nd Every year, like flipping clockwork. 30 days later, they're gone. Dry January, I'm not drinking for the month. Okay, it's great. I'm proud of you for being able to do something for one month, the first month of the year.

Speaker 2: 7:08

Hey, small wins, you start with that first step.

Speaker 1: 7:14

Yes, but carry it into something new. Create a new habit. That's the point of what I'm talking about today is, in the last two weeks, create that new habit. Now, be the damn trendsetter.

Speaker 1: 7:27

So maybe you don't get all of your goals, maybe you don't hit all of your 2024 goals in these last two weeks, maybe you fall short, but look at how far you've come. Look at what do we need to say no to, right? So here's the thing. I think we've talked about this In order to get where you want to go, you have to stop doing what you've been doing, because what you're doing will get you to where you want to go eventually, but it's not going to get you there in the time frame you expect, right? So, just like you and I talk and I'm like, oh, I'm going to do all these things, you're like great, what are you going to delete? What are you going to stop doing? Yes, I do say that. So I have to be very conscious of I say yes to so many things, but what I need to say yes to are the things that are really important, the things that will get me to my goal or get me to my expectation.

Speaker 2: 8:16

You need to pause before you say yes.

Speaker 1: 8:20

Oh my God, and look at my calendar and then make sure things are in my calendar.

Speaker 2: 8:24

Right and then just think about it. What am I committing to and what is the result?

Speaker 1: 8:32

Yeah, 100%. Think through that kind of stuff. So that's what we're talking about as I do the self-reflection of 2024 in the last two weeks of the year. This is a great time to do it, because a lot of us we might be off for the last two weeks of the year. You might be off for the last week of the year. This is going to fuel you as you go into that, Go into a space, write it down how much have you accomplished this year? Do not look at the negative side of things, because if you and don't compare yourself to other people either, as I'm looking at somebody next to me and I'm like God, now they're in this position and I'm not Sorry, I have to edit. That's better.

Speaker 2: 9:23

Mark the time Nine minutes.

Speaker 1: 9:28

So as you look at other people and they're they're successful, they're doing these things, they're checking these boxes it is so easy to compare yourself to them and say what about me? Why didn't I get mine? Why didn't I win? You don't know the position that individual's in, you don't know how they've networked, you don't know what opportunities they were given, you don't know how they worked, so I don't think we can compare ourselves to them. So what I do think we should do is what did we do this year that really worked well? What did we do this year that didn't work so well? What do we think our weaknesses are from this year? What are we going to do differently in 2025?

Speaker 2: 10:08

You start. You want me to start with what I'm going to do different.

Speaker 1: 10:12

Yeah, well, listen, I'm going to take the last two weeks and think about that stuff and maybe in the first episode of 2025, that's what we'll talk about Maybe we'll talk about what we're doing with the podcast and how we're going to make maybe make some changes. What are we going to do differently in 2025?

Speaker 2: 10:29

Oh my God, are you doing some staff changes on the podcast?

Speaker 1: 10:36

Don't let the co host know. Oh shit, all right. So, and then the last thing when it comes to these, these goals and these, these vitals, and the things we're trying to get done, what's holding us back from getting them done? That's the question I really want to ask you, and I want you to ask yourself what's holding me back from accomplishing this goal? Because, as you think about that, I said what's holding you back, but really, who's holding you back? Because if it's a what you can get around, that Wouldn't you agree?

Speaker 2: 11:11

Of course.

Speaker 1: 11:12

Right. If it's a wall, you're going to hit it. Something's not allowing you to accomplish it. You're going to find a way if it's important enough to you.

Speaker 2: 11:20

I mean, I think that's what you have to. You have to determine for you personally, and if it's not a something, it's a someone. And is that someone you? I mean, we talked about the imposter syndrome, you know. Are you not going after it because of self doubt?

Speaker 1: 11:36

Yes.

Speaker 2: 11:37

All of these things you know rolling around your head and head, and those are real feelings. I mean you have to validate those feelings, find out why you think that way.

Speaker 1: 11:47

There you go.

Speaker 2: 11:48

Right and then listen. It could be deep seated from childhood how you were brought up people around you who influence you I mean the people that you know you compare yourself to are influencing you every day either. Well, gosh, they're not working hard. Why do I need to?

Speaker 2: 12:10

You know what I mean. They're doing the bare minimum. Why should I do anything differently? So I mean all of those external influences and then the internal stuff that you hold. You have to figure out how to let it go, and you know either be comfortable where you are.

Speaker 1: 12:27

Yes.

Speaker 2: 12:27

And remember, don't complain about it, you know embrace it embrace it or take the next step.

Speaker 1: 12:36

That's a man. That's really good perspective. You've clearly been listening to the podcast, no, but I mean, in all seriousness, that's really good stuff, because I think there are things buried deep in our subconscious that okay, let's give you an example. I'm coaching an individual who says my goal is to get off the tools. I said, great, he wants to be an entrepreneur, he runs his own business, but he's on the tools. I said, great, he wants to be an entrepreneur, he runs his own business, but he's on the tools. That's normal in construction, right?

Speaker 1: 13:05

Most construction companies started because you were a carpenter or a plumber, whatever you were. You got tired of working for somebody and said I'm just going to do my own thing. Why am I working for him to make him or her all this money? I'm going to start my own business. That's standard. So his goal is to get off the tools. And I said, great, what's keeping you from that? What happened in 2024 that you weren't able to do? He said, well, I just I couldn't find enough time. I couldn't find. I said listen, okay, here's the thing. You've been doing this your whole life. You're 50 years old, this is all you know. And here I'm telling you. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with you working on your tools and running your business. There's nothing at all wrong with that. But if you want to do something different, you have to show up differently, you have to think differently. So, the moment there's a problem, what's your solution?

Speaker 2: 13:56

Oh, I'm going to strap on my tools. I'm going to get it fixed.

Speaker 1: 13:58

You're damn right. You are are because when I first became a superintendent, there was not a problem that I couldn't fix. I had my tools and I was out there fixing it and people would say you cannot be the one fixing all the problems, you've got to be on the computer. And I was like I don't need a damn computer well, right, but it's.

Speaker 2: 14:15

It's that whole that that whole thought that you don't want to fail you. When you let go of whatever grip that you have on things, you have to acknowledge that mistakes are going to happen.

Speaker 1: 14:30

Yes.

Speaker 2: 14:31

You know that people are going to let you down, right.

Speaker 1: 14:34

Constantly.

Speaker 2: 14:35

Constantly let you down, whatever the case may be. And then you have to be okay with the result of that decision Because you know, when I was growing up, um in in the business and you know we would hire someone, we would hire support or whatever, and I would have to give up a percentage of my commission to help pay for that.

Speaker 2: 14:58

And I was like this is a crock of shit, commission to help pay for that. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Like this is a crock of shit. But it was not that growth mentality that if you put someone in a supportive staff to help you, then ultimately your business is going to grow because you have more people to oversee the business. So this, you know, this guy that you're helping through if he is paying for that person to oversee work to do things and he is still doing it.

Speaker 2: 15:25

Well then, dude, cut the cord and let them fail. But how about this? Let them succeed.

Speaker 1: 15:36

That's where the coaching really comes into play when you can tell them your people are going to make mistakes. I'm going to be here when they make the mistakes and you can lean on me. I'm a sounding board and I'll help you work through the solution to whatever the mistake was. Let's just be honest with ourselves. This is construction. We make mistakes every damn day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Speaker 2: 15:59

Right. But the good thing is we're in construction.

Speaker 1: 16:02

That's right we can fix anything with the right mindset. So I asked him this what's the worst case scenario? What's the worst thing he can possibly do? You have insurance if something really bad happens, right? Because you're professional. So if you have insurance, the insurance is there for what? Not just to give him a check every month. It's there to protect you when something like this, something worst case happens, Right? So lean into that. I got a text from him this morning that said I'm trusting what you said. I'm scared to death, but I've delegated going to the jobs and walking the jobs to my foreman and I'm going to stay in the office and work on estimates.

Speaker 2: 16:45

Heck, yeah, hats off.

Speaker 1: 16:47

That's awesome.

Speaker 2: 16:48

Can't wait to hear how it goes.

Speaker 1: 16:51

I think his success in 2025 is going to be off the charts and it's so incredible to see and to be a part of something like that, because he really wants it. So my goal for him is get off the tools, but in the first quarter it's 30 hours in the field and 10 hours in the office. You can't quit something that you've been doing your whole life overnight. It's like smoking. I'm going to stop smoking. Cold turkey right now. Oh yeah. How long have you been smoking? 25 years, okay. It takes a hell of a mindset and a very stubborn individual to quit something. Cold turkey.

Speaker 2: 17:27

Like you and stopping drinking.

Speaker 1: 17:30

Yes, yes, my stopping drinking is a prime example, but my trying to quit swearing that one is buried deep in my subconscious from 35 plus years ago, and I'm in construction, so it's really, really hard. Now I have cut out a couple of swear words that I don't use anymore.

Speaker 2: 17:49

You know, I have to say I have not heard those because you know I would often joke that it sounded like an old Eddie Murphy stand up with you, f bomb this and F this. And I was like God, you sound uneducated.

Speaker 1: 18:07

And I think you're right about that. I think there's a place for it where it fits and it's okay. The problem is, if you get comfortable using that type of language, you're going to get comfortable and you're going to use it when you shouldn't use it Right you can alienate people, make them uncomfortable, and you never want to do that with either familiarity that you don't have.

Speaker 1: 18:30

That's right, that's exactly right. So instantly we have this connection. So, oh great, we're on the same wavelength and I can talk to you the way I talk to everybody else.

Speaker 2: 18:39

Okay, Well, listen, I'll share a small win, and it's so stupid, not even my win, you know. I told you on the last time we talked that Mitchell, you know, went ahead and got all the field laptops.

Speaker 2: 18:54

He's investing on yeah yeah, people, I got the funniest email today and it was a test email from one of the superintendents uh, laptop, and it was like wtf, test email from my laptop. I was like wt, wtf Received Heck. Yeah, but I mean that's, I mean hey, I'll take it. I thought that that was great and we're having our staff meeting tomorrow and I'm going to ask if we have set up some workshops for these folks.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Hey, you're on the right path with that, and here's what I love about that email this individual didn't think five steps ahead, but this is what he said we can learn and we can use the laptop in the field. So let's debunk that myth that I can't figure out how to use this technology. So, whoever that was, make a note of it. So when it comes up, you can say yeah on X day at this time. Here's the email you sent you want to try again.

Speaker 2: 19:55

Yeah, and I mean, I have always been their cheerleader and like these guys are so smart.

Speaker 1: 20:01

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 20:02

And I have all the faith in the world, but when they have a question, don't come ask me.

Speaker 1: 20:09

Well, a lot of it goes back to that limiting belief. I think for a long time we've told people in the field that you're just not smart enough. We don't come out and say that, but we treat them like they're not smart enough.

Speaker 2: 20:20

Well, no, but you embrace what they're telling you.

Speaker 1: 20:22

A hundred percent, and then you we validate it.

Speaker 2: 20:25

Yeah, yeah exactly you validated, and it's so silly.

Speaker 1: 20:30

We're cutting them off at the knees and we don't even realize it. And that's where it's that them off at the knees and we don't even realize it. And that's where it's. That's where I'm frustrated with the industry. You know we talk about hey, we want to bring more people into the industry, we want to make people better. How are we going to do that? If we treat people poorly, why the hell would they want to come in the industry? We've got to change the way that we show up, in the way that we treat each other Right, Like, like your, your guy.

Speaker 2: 20:52

If he doesn't treat his foreman and show some faith, that guy's going to walk.

Speaker 1: 20:59

Absolutely. And what's the worst case scenario that happens. He puts him in this position. He trusts him to do things. He makes a mistake. He doesn't learn from the mistakes. You're going to have to let him go. That's the worst case scenario.

Speaker 2: 21:10

But to me that just ramps up Like you know what he could have been like you know what he could have been, you know just tagging along for the longest time, and you didn't even know that, that he was, you know, um, like an anchor, like a like a c player yeah, yeah, exactly that's what it is. They're there just for their check right. So you're escalating this and you're giving him an opportunity to be successful, or the opposite.

Speaker 1: 21:37

Absolutely. And look, let's come full circle If you don't do the self-reflection on 2024, self-reflection on yourself, self-reflection on your business, self-reflection on your people, your team, your department, whatever it is Do the reflection on the entire piece, ask your people to do it as well, and then review it, then set your goals for 2025. And then make some determinations. It was December of last year that I determined which people I needed to get off the bus, because they weren't the right fit for our company and for our future. That was scary as hell, but the decision was made during the time of reflection. And, looking back on it now, what a massive gain that was for our company, because if it wasn't for that, we wouldn't have TK Design.

Speaker 2: 22:24

Oh, I hear a plug coming up.

Speaker 1: 22:27

Yes, dropping Thursday.

Speaker 2: 22:29

Okay, well, so we're a little head on. I never know.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Last week we had TK Design on and that's why they're with our team, because of this self-reflection period in the month of december. That's what came out of it. So good things can come out of the self-reflection you're going to determine. This is a c player. I'm lagging in my department in these areas. These are are my focuses for Q1 because I've got to get my say. It's a process thing I need to improve.

Speaker 1: 23:00

Let's say you're running a job site and you're saying my job sites are dirty, they're not clean at the end of the day, okay, here's a vital. This is something I want to get fixed. These are the things I'm going to do every day to make that happen. But without that reflection, you don't know to make that happen. But without that reflection, you don't know Right. And all of this ties to everything we talk about all the time, which is making more money, improving your business. Everything we're talking about on this podcast is how you can make more money in the construction industry, no matter what role you hold. I like it. That's what it's all about, right? More money, yes, hell, yes. Well, how about this? Let's wrap this one up till next week.

Speaker 2: 23:37

See ya.